איז א שאלה טריף????

[זאל_זיין]

אין די "אנדערע" וועב זייטל איז דאס געווארן אפגעמעקט....אוי די אייראני....

ביינונזערע ישיבות האט מען שטארק אראפגעריסן די פרעגערס.
אז א בחור האט געהאט קשיות, צו אויף אמונה, צו אויף מנהגים,
איז ער געווארן געסטמפלט אלס אן אפיקורס.

אין מיי האמבל אפיניאן איז דאס אן עוון פלילי

בילאו איז א אימעיל וואס א באקאנטער מחנך האט ריפלייד צו א מחנכת
וואס האט געהאט טענות אויף עם אז ער ענקארעזשט פרעגן קשיות

[left]The following is a copy of a response I sent by email to someone who "works with girls" and wanted to know why we have questions and answers in "public" - since lots of times if a girl wasn't bothered by a question, she will ask it just to get attention, and then she will internalize it slowly and then go off the derech because of the questions." Therefore, she contends, we should not show questions, or else people will go off the derech.
Something like that.
Here's my answer:
For hundreds of years our Gedolei Yisroel have been teaching and writing - for the public - the answers to such questions about Yiddishkeit. It was always considered a good thing, not a bad thing.
The reason is, questions are not bad, they are good. Lo habayshon lomed. And since there are solid and easy answers to all these questions, by asking them you just strengthens one's emunah, which is a good thing.
The public should have access to answers, since the public has questions. That’s why we make the material public. And it also shows the public that there are indeed answers to questions, so that even if they come up with a question that they have not heard an answer for yet, they will still feel confident that just like the other thousand questions have easy answers, this one must also have one.
It is good for people to know that there ARE NO "problems" with Yiddishkeit. And that is what this site shows.
The real problem is when people - teachers, mentors, etc - deal with kids who have questions to which they themselves do not know the answers. That is a problem. Because how can you convince someone else to be frum if you yourself don’t know what you should be?
The questions we are talking about are not rocket science. There is not a teenager in the world that is not capable of thinking, how do I know that I am being taught the truth? They all know that there are other religions out there, and others who hold from no religion. Any intelligent person wants to know, if they are dedicating their life to a certain way, that at least they should have a reason to believe they are doing the right thing.
Whatever the answer is - be it inspiration from the great example of holy people, to the intellectual approach of proofs to the torah - there needs to be an answer. If not, the kid will likely go off, and if she does not go off, then she is being frum without any real motive, just because "it’s the thing to do" or because her friends or family are, or because it’s convenient. That kind of frumkeit is not the kind that stands hard tests when and if they arise, and it has no emunah, and certainly cannot have bitachon or any other kind of relationship with Hashem.
Think: If a girl is NOT bothered by these questions, why isn't she? Is it because she is not capable of thinking of the questions? Nope, she surely is.
Or is it because she doesn’t really care if there is an answer or not - she doesn’t care if Judaism is true - she's just frum because why not? So what’s the difference? Or at the very least, she will make believe she thinks it’s true because it makes life easier.
That, unfortunately, is the reality. The only other reason people aren’t bothered by the questions is because they have reasons not to be. That is the only acceptable solution.
But since many people who "deal with kids" do not know the answers themselves - and the kids know that their teachers do not have answers - the teachers are scared lest a question come up, and since they do not know the answer, they will have to either tell the kid not to ask, or avoid the question or give a bad answer, which will send the false message that there are no answers.
Since the kids know that their teachers have no answers, therefore their questions are a threat - to the teacher and to the student. When a kid "asks a question to get attention" it is the same as saying to a teacher: I am cutting myself; I am hanging out with the wrong crowd; I am doing something dangerous. Stuff like that are attention-getters.
Questions are only attention-getters because they make teachers nervous. If teachers would have the answers to these basic questions, which teachers should have - then there is no danger of a kid asking. Even if they are asking to get attention, when they see there are easy simple answers, they will have to find another way to shake up their teachers.
Questions are only "danger" because the teachers have no answers.
"Internalizing" questions is only bad if they internalize them without the answers. If they have answers to their questions it's better than not having a question. There’s nothing wrong with having a question; it’s not having an answer that’s the problem.
So the problem that you are witnessing "working with girls" is not that girls ask questions. It's that nobody has answers for them - that makes asking a question a threat, and attention-getter, and a crisis.
It's like trying to recruit people for the army but when someone raises their hand and says "Why should I go to the army?" "How much is the pay?" "Why shouldn’t I go to the navy instead?" the recruiter hasn’t a clue. ("Yes, but come to the army shabbaton and see how beautiful it is". Desperation at work.)
Then he blames those who provide such information because by doing so, G-d forbid somebody may think of asking why they should join.
Rav Chaim Brisker ZTL used to say "vus felt in hasbara felt in havanah", (אז עס פעלט אין הסברה (פעלט אין הבנה meaning, if you can't explain it then you don't really understand it.
We are not talking here about major philosophical issues that perhaps it's better not to know the question if you never had it (although there are answers to all of those as well - it's just that why bother with the answer if you don't have the question to begin with, especially if the answer is more difficult to understand than the question. In such a case, if the question doesn't bother you, then leave it.); we're talking about questions that everyone is aware of already. Such as "How do I know what I am being taught is the truth?"[/left]