פאזעטיווע געדאנקן

[יהושיע]

בס"ד

נישט איבער חזרן די זעלבע טעיתים וואס האט געברענגט די אום געווינטשענע רעזאלטאטן.
עס איז ווייט באקאנט די פאלקס ווארט וויינט ווי א ביבער, דאס איז די זעלבע סארט פערשוינען וואס האלטן און איין איבער חזרן די זעלבע טעיתים נאכאמאל און נאכאמאל.
קען סיי ווער מעורר זיין, וואספארא סינדראם, און וואספארא תחבולות קענען געטוהן ווערן צו ווערן לויז פונעם "טעות חזרה סינדראם" ?

[Big Boy]

“Practice Random Acts of Kindness”

There is a bumper sticker that has been out for some time now. You see it on all cars across the nation (in fact, I have one on my own car). It says, “Practice Random Acts of Kindness and Senseless Acts of Beauty.” I have no idea who thought of this idea, but I have never seen a more important message on a car in front of me. Practicing random kindness is an effective way to get in touch with the joy of giving without expecting anything in return. It is best practiced without letting anyone know what you are doing.

There are five toll bridges in the San Francisco Bay Area. A while back, some people began paying the tolls of the cars immediately behind them. The drivers would drive to the toll window, and pull out their dollar bill, only to be informed, “Your toll has been paid by the car ahead of you.” This is an example of a spontaneous, random gift, something given without expectation of or demand for anything in return. You can imagine the impact that tiny gift had on the driver of the car! Perhaps it encouraged him to be a nicer person that day. Often, a single act of kindness sets a series of kind acts in motion.

There is no prescription for how to practice random kindness. It comes from the heart. Your gift might be to pick up litter in your neighborhood, make an anonymous contribution to a charity, send some cash in an unmarked envelope to make someone experiencing financial stress breathe a little easier, save an animal by bringing it to an animal rescue agency, or get a volunteer position feeding hungry people at a shelter. You may want to do all these things, and more. The point is, giving is fun and it doesn’t have to be expensive.

Perhaps the greatest reason to practice random acts of kindness is that it brings great contentment into your life. Each act of kindness rewards you with positive feelings and reminds you of the important aspects of life – service, kindness, and love. If we all do our own part, pretty soon we will live in a nicer world.

[Big Boy]

“Teamwork Is Like Polishing Rocks”


I love the following metaphor on teamwork from Steve Jobs I recently found.

He tells the story of a widowed man he had gotten to know in his eighties who lived up the street from him when he was a young boy.

One day the older man said to him, “come on into my garage, I want to show you something.” He pulled out a dusty and old rock tumbler that consisted of a motor and a coffee can with a little band between them, Jobs recollected.

He then invited him to the backyard where they collected some very regular and old ugly rocks. They put them in a can with a little bit of liquid and some grit powder. The old man then closed the can, turned the motor on and said, “Come back tomorrow.”

Jobs remembered the can making a big racket as the stones went around in the can.

He came back the next day and when they opened the can and took out the rocks they were amazingly beautiful and polished. He states, “The same common stones that had gone in, through rubbing against each other, creating a little bit of friction, creating a little bit of noise, had come out these beautiful polished rocks.” Teams, he states, are like these stones.

Individually, we can be fairly normal, ordinary and even a bit rough. But through the process of teamwork, we can end up in a very different state.

Jobs states that teams consisting of incredibly talented people who are passionate and are working hard towards something often times bump up against each other, argue, sometimes fight, and make some noise. By working together, they polish one another and their ideas and in the process, create beautiful stones

[Big Boy]

“Look Beyond Behavior”

Have you ever heard yourself, or someone else, say: “Don’t mind John. He didn’t know what he was doing”? If so, you have been exposed to the wisdom of “looking beyond behavior.” If you have children, you know very well the importance of this simple act of forgiveness. If we all base our love on our children’s behavior, it would often be difficult to love them at all. If love were based purely on behavior, then perhaps none of us would ever have been loved as a teenager!

Wouldn’t it be nice if we could try to extend this same kindness toward everyone we meet? Wouldn’t we live in a more loving world if, when someone acted in a way that we didn’t approve of, we could see their actions in a similar light as our teenagers’ offbeat behavior?

This doesn’t mean that we walk around with our heads in the sand, pretend that everything is always wonderful, allow others to “walk all over us,” or that we excuse or approve of negative behavior. Instead, it simply means having the perspective to give others the benefit of the doubt. Know that when the postal clerk is moving slowly, he is probably having a bad day, or perhaps all of his days are bad. When your spouse snaps at you, try to understand that, beneath this isolated act, your loved one really wants to love you, and to feel the same from you. Looking beyond behavior is easier than you might think. Try it today, and you’ll see and feel some nice results.

[Big Boy]

“Superstars and Black Holes”
-Anthony Fernando PhD.

Have you ever noticed that there are two different types of people in the world?

First, there are the “superstars.” Just like their celestial counterparts, superstars radiate warmth, love, and positive energy.

You can recognize a superstar by the following characteristics:

• They are positive

• They speak well of the people around them

• They smile and laugh easily

• They accept compliments graciously

• They encourage and support those around them

• They have clear goals and enjoy the process of working towards them

• They take action

Then there are the ‘black holes’ of the world. These are the people who seem to suck the life and light out of everything and everyone around them.

You can recognize a black hole by the following characteristics:

• They generally have a negative view of the world

• They regularly criticize others

• They are quick to point out why other people’s plans will never work

• They rarely smile or laugh unless they are laughing at someone else

• They often do not have clear goals and instead just plod along from day to day

You probably know people who fit well into these two categories, but as with anything in real life, these distinctions are not clear cut.

In reality, all of us are capable of being a superstar or a black hole depending on what we are thinking and how we are feeling at any given moment.

This week I’d like to encourage you to take a look at how you are interacting with those around you on a day-to-day basis. Are you a superstar – radiating warmth and positive energy to everyone you meet, or do you tend to be a bit of a black hole?

The greatest thing about becoming aware of how you are acting is that you always have the choice of how to behave in any given circumstance. Each and every day you can choose whether you are going to be a superstar or a black hole.

Action Steps:

As you go about your weekly activities, take note of how you are interacting with those around you. Wherever possible – choose to be a superstar and radiate warmth and positive energy to everyone you meet.

[Big Boy]

See The Innocence”

For many people, one of the most frustrating aspects of life is not being able to understand other people’s behaviors. We see them as “guilty” instead of “innocent.” It is tempting to focus on people’s seemingly irrational behavior – their comments, actions, mean-spirited acts, selfish behavior- and get extremely frustrated. If we focus on behavior too much, it can seem like other people are making us miserable.

But as I once heard Wayne Dyer sarcastically suggest in a lecture, “Round up all the people who are making you miserable and bring them to me. I will treat them [as a counselor], and you’ll get better!” Obviously, this is absurd. It is true that other people do weird things (who doesn’t), but we are the ones getting upset, so we are the ones who need to change. I am not talking about accepting, ignoring, or advocating hostility or any other deviant behavior. I am merely talking about learning to be less bothered by the actions of people.

Seeing the innocence is a powerful tool for transformation that means when someone is acting in a way that we don’t like, the best strategy for dealing with that person is to distance ourselves from the behavior; to “look beyond it,” so that we can see the innocence in where the behavior is coming from. Very often, this slight shift in our thinking immediately puts us into a state of compassion.

Occasionally, I work with people who are pressuring me to hurry up. Often, their technique for getting me to hurry along is obnoxious, even insulting. If I focus on the words they use, the tone of their voices, and the urgency of their messages, I can get annoyed, even angry in my responses. I see them as “guilty.” However, if I remember the urgency I feel when I am in a hurry to do something, it allows me to see the innocence in their behavior. Underneath even the most annoying behavior is a frustrated person who is crying out for compassion.

The next time (and hopefully from now on) when someone acts in a strange way, look for the innocence in his or her behavior. If you are compassionate, it won’t be hard to see. When you see the innocence, the same things that have always frustrated you no longer do. And, when you are not frustrated by the actions of others, it is a lot easier to stay focused on the beauty of life.

[Big Boy]

הרב Big Boy איר קענט אפשר אידיש?
עס טוט מיר זייער וויי איר ברענגט אראפ גוטע געדאנקען אבער ליידער זעה איך די עולם רעאגירט נישט צו דיר בכלל נישט מיט תגובות און נישט מיט לייקס
איך שפיר אז די וועסט נעמען די מיה עס איבערצוטייטשן אויף אידיש וועט דער עולם מער הנאה האבן און עס וועט דיר געבן חיזוק ווייטער אנצוגיין
און אין איינוועגס וועל איך אויך הנאה האבן אז איך וועל זיך נישט דארפן ברעכן די ציין ביי יעדע תגובה עס וועט זיך ליינען פיהל געשמאקע (ניין איך ליין נישט מיט מיין ציין)

I would love to type in Yiddish. I just don't have the time it will take me to learn to type it and the typing itself will be much slower. If there's someone here in shtibel that I can send my writings top before submitting and they wouldn't mind typing it in Yidish, I would appreciate that.

[Big Boy]

“5 Lessons From ‘The Voice’ On How To Grow Your Career”
-Patti Johnson

“You should feel like you’re carrying around a duffel bag with a heat-seeking missile in it.”

Taylor Swift gave this advice for how to own the stage and dominate the opportunity of being on one of the most successful TV shows today, The Voice. The singer-songwriter has obviously broken the code on seizing the opportunity—and by the age of 24.

On the surface, The Voice is a reality singing competition that features famous judges and mentors, such as Swift, who offer advice to the contestants on their team. On another level, the show is really about grabbing the chance you’ve been given, coaching others to the next level, teaching them how to win, how to become a star. While I genuinely enjoy the music each week, I have also gathered subtle lessons on creating an amazing career. Here are five:

1. Keep evolving and stay fresh: The show appeared on the scene in 2011 when American Idol and X Factor were big, yet showing signs of a tired and fading format. The Voice held tight to the singing competition that audiences loved, but it embraced a more positive tone of coaching contestants. Rather than adopt Idol’s fun in laughing at the weakest performers, it only invited those who deserved to be there. And with the new and positive twist of the judges’ chair turn for their favorite voices, The Voice anticipated the emerging views of the audience and beat them there with a fresh new take on a familiar concept. Past success isn’t an indicator of future success. In fact, past success is just the reason to seek the next evolution and new perspective on your career. Don’t settle in just because you have initial success.

2. Opportunity has no timetable, so be ready: The Voice contestants have one chance to make it to the live competition. They must seize the opportunity when it appears—they don’t get to choose the timing. Business and careers are much the same way. If we wait until we are “ready,” the open door might close before we get to it. When you meet the right advocate, see an opening for a new business opportunity or find that your dream job has opened up, take the opportunity. Anticipate so that you are ready when you need to be, not when you want to be.

3. Don’t be fooled by age or experience: Experience and age don’t equal wisdom and expertise. There are 15-year-old contestants who own the stage with musical instincts that defy logic. How can such a young and inexperienced person grab this unique opportunity with such ease? These young performers have confidence, an ability to tune out fears and distractions, along with incredible natural talent. Yes, we need experts with a deep knowledge at times, but we need to learn to value the contribution, not the age or experience. In many fields, such as the arts, media and entrepreneurship, not having years of experience in “how it’s done” might just be the positive difference-maker.

4. Small things can be big things: In The Voice mentoring sessions, you see the influence of an established artist’s advice to the contestants, even on matters that seem small at first. Changing up the musical arrangement, dropping the guitar, owning the stage or a Gwen Stefani makeover can significantly impact results. Remember the small things, like keeping a positive workplace attitude, really listening to your clients and taking time to stay in touch with your network. These types of things don’t automatically pop up as top priorities on your to-do list each day, so they can tend to feel optional. But remember the small things—they hold substantial power in moving your career forward.

5. Be you everywhere: If there is one common theme for me on The Voice, it’s that the judges and their team members who are true to themselves usually get the best results. Blake Shelton doesn’t hide his country roots and, as if he were family, he genuinely takes care of everyone on his team. Pharrell Williams, comfortable in his own skin, has a natural ability to connect with the new singers. And as a new judge, he built a great team by not relying on his success or ego but his ability to focus on the contestants, making it about them rather than him.

Walk in your own shoes. Being yourself will bring more success than trying to be someone else—and you’ll be a lot less exhausted.

[Big Boy]

“Soar Like An Eagle”
-Unknown

Did you know that an eagle knows when a storm is approaching long before it breaks?

The eagle will fly to a high spot and wait for the winds to come.

When the storm hits, it sets its wings so that the wind will pick it up and lift it above the storm. While the storm rages below, the eagle is soaring above it.

The eagle does not escape the storm. It simply uses the storm to lift it higher. It rises on the winds that bring the storm.

When the storms of life come upon us, like the eagle, we can rise above them and ride the winds of the storm that bring sickness, tragedy, failure, and disappointment into our lives.

What is your greatest challenge right now? Jot it down. And then let it lift you higher.

[Big Boy]

“When in Doubt About Whose Turn It Is to Take Out the Trash, Go Ahead and Take It Out”

If we are not careful, it is easy to become resentful about all the responsibilities of daily living. Once, in a very low mood, I figured out that on an average day, I do over 1,000 different things. Of course, when I am in a better mood, that number is significantly lower.

As I think about it, it is astounding to me how easy it is for me to remember all the chores that I do, as well as all the other responsibilities that I take care of. But, at the same time, it is easy for me to forget all the things that my wife does on a daily basis. How convenient!

It is really difficult to become a contented person if you are keeping score of all you do. Keeping track only discourages you by cluttering your mind with who is doing what, who is doing more, and so forth. If you want to know the truth about it, this is the epitome of “small stuff.” It will bring you far more joy to your life to know that you have done your part and someone else in your family has one less thing to do, than it will to worry and fret over whose turn it is to take out the trash.

The strongest argument against this strategy is the concern that you’ll be taken advantage of. This mistake is similar to believing it is important that you are right. Most of the time it is not important that you are right. Most of the time it is not important that you are right, and neither is it important if you take the trash out a few more times than your spouse or housemate. Making things like garbage less relevant in your life will undoubtedly free up more time and energy for truly important things.

[Big Boy]

“It’s Your ‘Calling’ Calling. Are You Free?”
-Shawn Achor

The brilliant Amy Wrzesniewski from Yale University researches how people perceive their jobs. She found that the way a person sees his or her occupation—as a “calling,” as opposed to a “job”—doesn’t depend on the job title or position, but on the meaning he or she perceives in the work.

But meaning is created in the human brain. No job is meaningful until someone’s brain attaches a meaning to it. All of us, no matter our situations, have the power to bring significance and lasting happiness to our professional lives. Janitors at retirement homes are just as likely as Wall Street bankers to find meaning and purpose in their work—as long as both can see how their work is helpful to others and perceive how their strengths are crucial to their jobs.

You can be the architect of a meaningful occupation—which gives you a choice today about your work. Are you going to start your job today or your calling?

Here are three questions that help your brain transition from job to calling:

1) How does your work contribute to a better community or world?

2) What part of your daily routine do you secretly enjoy that others might find mundane?

3) What skill would you most like to hone today?

These three questions can shift your mindset, taking your work from mundane to meaningful. Then you’ll begin to reap the happiness advantage through the day. Enjoy your new occupation!

[Big Boy]

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant. They too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons as they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere, life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is perennial as the grass.

Take kindly to the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.

Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

[Big Boy]

Just as we can weatherproof a home for the winter by looking for cracks, leaks, and imperfections, we can also weatherproof our relationships, even our lives, by doing the very same thing. Essentially, weatherproofing means that you are on the careful lookout for what needs to be fixed or repaired. It is finding the cracks and flaws of life, and either trying to fix them, or at least point them out to others. Not only does this tendency alienate you from other people, it makes you feel bad, too. It encourages you to think about what is wrong with everything and everyone – what you don’t like. So, rather than appreciating our relationships and our lives, weatherproofing encourages us to end up thinking that life isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Nothing is ever good enough the way it is.

In our relationships, weatherproofing typically plays itself out like this: You meet someone and all is well. You are attracted to his or her appearance, personality, intellect, sense of humor, or some combination of these traits. Initially you not only approve of your differences with this person, you actually appreciate them. You might even be attracted to the person in part because of how different you are. You have different opinions, preferences, tastes, and priorities.

After a while, however, you begin to notice little quirks about your new partner (or friend, teacher, whoever), that you feel could be improved upon. You bring it to their attention. You might say, “You know, you sure have a tendency to be late.” Or. “I’ve noticed you don’t read very much.” The point is, you’ve begun what inevitably turns into a way of life – looking for and thinking about what you don’t like about someone, or something that isn’t quite right.

Obviously, an occasional comment, constructive criticism, or helpful guidance isn’t cause for alarm. Occasional harmless comments have an insidious tendency to become a way of looking at life.

When you are weatherproofing another human being, it says nothing about them – but it does define you as someone who needs to be critical. Whether you have a tendency to weatherproof your relationships, certain aspects of your life, or both, what you need to do is write off weatherproofing as a bad idea. As the habit creeps into your thinking, catch yourself and seal your lips. The less often you weatherproof your partner or your friends, the more you’ll notice how great your life really is.

[Big Boy]

A woman would often speak to her husband about the condition of her next-door neighbor’s laundry that was hung on the line outside of the neighbor’s yard as she looked out the window. The woman would comment that the neighbor’s laundry was dingy and dirty. The clothes looked dull and were filled with spots of dirt. She thought that this truly must be a reflection of the fact that her neighbor was unfit and irresponsible. Does she have no shame? This went on and on week after week, where the woman would talk about the neighbor with the dirty laundry.

Then one day, the woman looked out the same window and was shocked at what she saw. She had never seen such vivid colors and sparkling white cloths in her life. It was a miracle! And with surprise and delight, the woman turned to her husband and asked him, “What do you think happened? What changed? Who gave her a clue?”

Her husband, gently stated, “I washed the window.” Then walked away…

Moral: Let us take a moment to remember that although we are not perfect and others are not perfect, let us keep our windows washed. Let us reflect that before we judge another, let us be kind, caring, compassionate and considerate. Remember to see the beauty.

[Big Boy]

-Richard Carlson

“Understand Separate Realities”

While we are on the subject of being interested in the way other people do things, let’s take a moment to discuss separate realities.

If you have traveled to foreign countries or seen depictions of them in movies, you are aware of vast differences among cultures. The principle of separate realities says that the differences among individuals is every bit as vast. Just as we wouldn’t expect people of different cultures to see or do things as we would (in fact, we’d be disappointed if they did), this principle tells us that the individual differences in our ways of seeing the world prohibit this as well. It is not a matter of merely tolerating differences but of truly understanding and honoring the fact that it literally can’t be any other way.

I have seen an understanding of this principle change lives. It can virtually eliminate quarrels. When we expect to see things differently, when we take it as a given that others will do things differently and react differently to the same stimuli, the compassion we have for ourselves and for others rises dramatically. The moment we expect otherwise, the potential for conflict exists.

I encourage you to consider deeply and respect the fact that we are all very different. When you do, the love you feel for others as well as the appreciation you have for your own uniqueness will increase.

[ונבנתה העיר]

[left]There's no point in being unhappy about things you can't change, and no point being unhappy about things you can.[/left]

[רויטע וואנצעס]

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[רויטע וואנצעס]

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[לית דין בר נש]

דערמאנסט מיר פון א צעטיל וואס איך האב אמאל גיזעהן Working hard never killed anyone but why try it

[Big Boy]

Treasures To Be Thankful For

A man was exploring caves by the seashore. In one of the caves he found a canvas bag with a bunch of hardened clay balls.
It was like someone had rolled clay balls and left them out in the sun to bake. They didn't look like much, but they intrigued the man, so he took the bag out of the cave with him.
As he strolled along the beach, he would throw the clay balls one at a time out into the ocean as far as he could. He thought little about it, until he dropped one of the clay balls and it cracked open on a rock.
Inside was a beautiful, precious stone! Excited, the man started breaking open the remaining clay balls. Each contained a similar treasure.
He found thousands of dollars worth of jewels in the 20 or so clay balls he had left. Then it struck him. He had been on the beach a long time. He had thrown maybe 50 or 60 of the clay balls with their hidden treasure into the ocean waves. Instead of thousands of dollars in treasure, he could have taken home tens of thousands, but he had just thrown it away!
It's like that with people and things. We look at them, maybe even ourselves, and we see the external clay vessel. It doesn't look like much from the outside. It isn't always beautiful or sparkling, so we discount it. We see them as less important than others that are more beautiful or stylishy or well known or wealthy.
But we have not taken the time to find the treasure hidden inside it. There is a treasure in each and every one of us. If we take the time to learn more, then the clay begins to peel away and the brilliant gem begins to shine forth.
May we not come to the end of our lives and find out that we have thrown away a fortune because the gems were hidden in bits of clay.

[Big Boy]

Plants And People

Plants grow best when we pay attention to them. That means watering, touching them, putting them in places where they will receive good light. They need people around them to notice if they are drooping at the edges or looking particularly happy in the sunlight. The more attention a plant receives, the better it will grow.

We need to be noticed in the same way. If we notice a family member or friend is drooping, perhaps we can pay some special attention to him or her. All of us need someone to care about how we are and to truly listen to us.

We can share and double someone's happiness by noticing and talking about it also. We help the people around us to grow by listening to their droopy edges as well as their bright days.

People need this as much as plants need light and water.

[Big Boy]

6 Motivational Commencement Speeches

In the happy points of our lives—graduation, a new job, a promotion, the birth of a child, a marriage, new-found independence—it’s easy to dream of a brighter future and actually believe it possible. But in the low points, and even the average ones, it’s even easier to lose sight of those dreams. To let the daily stressors diminish the future we know we can accomplish.

So grab hold of the moments of clarity when you see them. Let these seven inspirational commencement speeches push you toward those moments and dare to dream bigger.

Sheryl Sandberg - UC Berkley, 2016 "But I am also aware that I am walking without pain. For the first time, I am grateful for each breath in and out—grateful for the gift of life itself. I used to celebrate my birthday every five years and friends’ birthdays sometimes. Now I celebrate always. I used to go to sleep worrying about all the things I messed up that day—and trust me that list was often quite long. Now I try really hard to focus on each day’s moments of joy.

It is the greatest irony of my life that losing my husband helped me find deeper gratitude—gratitude for the kindness of my friends, the love of my family, the laughter of my children. My hope for you is that you can find that gratitude—not just on the good days, like today, but on the hard ones, when you will really need it."

Mindy Kaling - Harvard University, 2014 "I'm supposed to give you advice and I thought, What advice could I give you guys? … So then I was thinking, Well then, who should be giving advice? The answer is people like you. You're better educated and you're going to go out there in the world and people are going to listen to what you say... I look at all of you and see America's future… Understand that one day you will have the power to make a difference, so use it well."

President Barack Obama - Howard University, 2016
“If you had to choose one moment in history in which you could be born, and you didn’t know ahead of time who you were going to be — what nationality, what gender, what race, whether you’d be rich or poor, gay or straight, what faith you’d be born into — you wouldn’t choose 100 years ago. You wouldn’t choose the fifties, or the sixties, or the seventies. You’d choose right now. If you had to choose a time to be, in the words of Lorraine Hansberry, ‘young, gifted and black’ in America, you would choose right now.”

“It’s important to note progress. Because to deny how far we’ve come would do a disservice to the cause of justice, to the legions of foot soldiers; to not only the incredibly accomplished individuals who have already been mentioned, but your mothers and your dads, and grandparents and great grandparents, who marched and toiled and suffered and overcame to make this day possible. I tell you this not to lull you into complacency, but to spur you into action — because there’s still so much more work to do, so many more miles to travel."

Stephen Colbert - Wake Forest University, 2015
“No one has any idea what’s going to happen. Not even Elon Musk. That’s why he’s building those rockets. He wants a ‘Plan B’ on another world. But whatever happens, I think it’s entirely appropriate that I’m the one talking to you right now. Because I just spent many years learning to do one thing really well. I got so comfortable with that place, that role, those responsibilities that it came to define how I saw myself. But now that part of my life is over. It’s time to say goodbye to the person we’ve become, we’ve worked so hard to perfect, and to make some crucial decisions about who we’re going to be. For me, I’ll have to figure out how to do an hour-long show every night. And you, at some point, will have to sleep. I am told the Adderall wears off eventually. Good luck.”

Shonda Rhimes - Dartmouth, 2014
"Dreams do not come true just because you dream them. It's hard work that makes things happen, it's hard work that creates change... Ditch the dream and be a doer, not a dreamer. My dreams did not come true. But I worked really hard. And I ended up building an empire out of my imagination.

Bill and Melinda Gates - Stanford University, 2014
"Bill worked incredibly hard and took risks and made sacrifices for success. But there is another essential ingredient of success, and that ingredient is luck—absolute and total luck. When were you born? Who were your parents? Where did you grow up? None of us earned these things. They were given to us. When we strip away our luck and privilege and consider where we’d be without them, it becomes easier to see someone who’s poor and sick and say ‘That could be me.’ This is empathy; it tears down barriers and opens up new frontiers for optimism.

So here is our appeal to you: As you leave Stanford, take your genius and your optimism and your empathy and go change the world in ways that will make millions of others optimistic as well."

[Big Boy]

Change What Isn't Working


We have all had the experience of realizing that something in our lives is not working. This knowledge can come as a sudden realization or a nagging feeling of doubt that grows stronger, waking us up to the fact that something needs to change. Some people have a tendency to act rashly and make sweeping changes before even understanding what the problem is. Other people fear change, so they live with the uncomfortable awareness that something needs to shift but won’t do anything about it. Between these two extreme responses lies a middle way that can help us powerfully and gracefully change what isn’t working in our lives.

The first step is remembering that your life is made up of parts that belong to an interconnected whole. Changing one thing can change everything. Because of this, small changes often have a big effect. Sometimes much bigger changes are necessary, but the only way to know for sure is to take the time to really understand the problem. Examine your life as an entirety—your work, your relationships, where you live—and determine what specifically is not functioning the way you would like. Once you have figured out the problem, write it down on a piece of paper. For example, “I am not happy with my relationship” or “I don’t like my apartment.” The next step is to figure out the adjustment you would like to make and how you can go about making this change. If you are unhappy with your relationship because you spend too much or not enough time with your partner, you may want to discuss this problem with them and come up with a compromise. On the other hand, if you realize your relationship is not working to such a degree that it needs to end, begin working through that process. Writing down the truth can be a powerful catalyst for change.

The key to making changes that work is to accept the necessity of change as part of life. As we change, we may find it necessary to fine-tune our relationships, work, and living situations. Our lives are living, breathing entities that reflect our dynamic selves.